It’s been the same story all of my life.
“All you ever talk about is sex,” my best friend Aaron constantly admonishes me.
“Does everything about you have to be so sexual?” my girlfriend Amy asks.
Even Bertha, my long suffering Mother, has an opinion on this subject. “Nuthin’ you say could blow me outta the water. You’ve always been racy.”
That’s right, kids. Yours truly is racy! I feel like a modern day Mae West!
Let’s consider the facts for a moment, shall we? First of all, I’ve been a practicing gay since before the days when showering was mandatory after gym in high school, so the topic of sex in general has been part of my vernacular for at least 15 of my 27 years on this planet. Secondly, pop culture is a huge part of who I am. I’m a product of the 80’s and 90’s, which means I grew up with the images of Boy George, Madonna, George Michael, and Prince expressing themselves with their sexuality all over the place. These people defined the words controversial and provocative for my generation. These two details are related in the sense that the latter was instrumental in making the former less traumatizing for me when I “came out". In other words, Hey, that Madonna has some set of balls and doesn’t take any shit from anyone. Maybe I can be that way too!
Sex has never been a dirty word to me. I see nothing inappropriate or shameful in having it or talking about it.
"But why must sex be the center of your conversation?" I can still hear some of you asking.
Well, quite frankly, that question is the number one reason why I just won’t let the damn thing go. First off, who the hell is anyone to question my right to speak about anything, period? That’s a big pet peeve of mine. If I want to run up and down East Avenue screaming the words cock gobbler, you bet your sweet ass this big bitch is going to (I have never actually done this...really, I haven't!). What most people don’t seem to understand is that the people who take the most offence to my general inappropriateness are pretty much the people I’m targeting in the first place. And why am I targeting these people? That’s simple. These are the people that need to get over me talking about sex and 1) worry about the bigger issue (which I will get to in a moment) and perhaps 2) fucking have some already and stop taking their insecurities regarding the subject out on me just because of my progressive attitude towards it!
The biggest reason I'm so headstrong about the issue of sex is that so many of my younger brothers and sisters are hurting themselves because what they are feeling is considered socially immoral and their fear of rejection keeps them from expressing themselves and talking about it. If we all had a little bit more of a relaxed attitude regarding sexuality, Little Christopher might have grown up not thinking he was disgusting and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have thought dying was somehow better than living in sin.
"Have you lost your mind? Relaxed attitude about sex? What? What? What? Are you asking us to promote sexuality? What about teenage pregnancy? What about the rise in STDs among teenagers?"
Um...well, yeah. There you go being part of the problem again, not a part of the solution. Maybe you should spend less time telling a crazy faggot like me that my subject matter is wrong, and more time with Little Jimmie telling him that although you would prefer he not have sex, if he does, there are things called education and protection that may save him some trouble down the road. Same goes for Little Susie. What better way to celebrate her sweet 16 than with a brand new car and some social enlightenment. Have that talk you've been putting off!
I’m not saying to hand the keys to the sexual castle to your children. I’m just saying that if the world were a little less freaked out about the topic of sex, people (kids specifically) wouldn’t be sneaking around doing God knows what, God knows where. I’m sure the idea of having a frank conversation with a parent or a kid over this is a bit intimidating and perhaps a bit embarrassing, but wouldn’t you much rather deal with that kind of feeling than the alternative? I would take my son or daughter telling me they were thinking about becoming sexually active and the ensueing conversation over them telling me they had contracted some awful disease any day.
It is my sincerest hope that one day, me being me and a phrase like wild, crazy, butt boy will hardly raise an eyebrow. Someday, people will share a laugh, and then we can shift our focus to issues that I think should really be disturbing people more like the atrocity of art and music programs being cut from public schools, taking care of our world so future generations can enjoy it, or who has the bigger penis, Tobey Maguire or Hayden Christensen? Fuck. Oh well. I guess we can’t expect things to change over night now can we?
Essential Download: "Human Nature"
Available On: Bedtime Stories